The fact that i can’t even remember the last time me and my bestfriend done something together just says it all really lol

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2192040247593&set=o.38963430171&type=1&theater - for a competition like this photo even if you don’t like it!!! thhhhhankkkkkkkks x

Paracetamol, lemsip drink, 8767 packs of soothers and an olbas inhaler. What is my life lmao

than insanely small home made roast potatoes, over-done(crispy over-done though), drowned in oil with a little paprika on. Omg.

Good luck for tomorrow Nanny xxxxxxxx

- Ugh, probably the worst few months of my life. I don’t normally tell people what I had/what happened and stuff but as I have like 1 person on my facebook on here, I will. I was in Great Ormond Street because I caught the most deadliest strain of HUS E.coli and then both my kidney’s failed for 2 months straight, and i’m not even gonna go into the pain it caused me lol. To be honest, it actually shook me mentally as well as emotionally and not gonna lie, I am actually still not over it. Yet I hate it when people talk about it because I don’t want all the bad memories to start rushing back to me and people will think I’m attention seeking, when I’m clearly not. I missed 2 months worth of important school and probably the ‘best’ winter ever as everyone keeps making out. Words cannot even begin to describe how much I would of loved to share that winter with all of my friends but I was stuck in a hospital bed. The amount of times I have cried myself to sleep over it is unthinkable, people who are reading this are thinking ‘stop living in the past’ or ‘grow up’ or ‘you’re making it out like you died then reincarnated’, but it was a massive shock to me especially as the worst illness I had ever had before then was tonsillitis and the realization that i was hours away from death tore me apart. Every time some one would come and visit me I would try my absolute hardest to be/act myself and it just wouldn’t happen and it kinda really took it out of me. I sat an exam in June which I should of sat in January but I couldn’t, I was sitting there and I started crying so much and I thought I failed, luckily I didn’t but god knows how I passed that fcuka. I know this sounds extremely stupid, but I wanted to commit suicide, I really did. I couldn’t take any more of it. The thought of being a mum and watching your daughter say she wants to kill herself must of been pretttty hard, but life’s hard. I always try to make out nothing happened when people talk to me about it but seriously, it kills me inside and I don’t want to cry infront of people. I can remember the first day I was allowed out of my room/bed as I wasn’t so infectious, it felt amazing, like I was free again. That night, my mum took me across the road in a wheelchair to pizza express (which I really shouldn’t of had, but we didn’t know that at the time) and I don’t think I will ever forget that moment where the pizza touched my tongue, oh my god, never tasted anything like it. I can remember lying in my bed and looking out the window as it was snowing and just wanting to be out there with everyone :(. And I can remember when it was coming up to Christmas Day and everyone was decorating the hospital and doing the tree, oh of course except me because I was too ‘infectious’, I felt so left out and all I was doing was sitting in my bed colouring in leaf’s for the pantomime and feeling sorry for myself. I doubt no one will read this because it’s too long and they haven’t got time but I really needed to let it out, I feel like I can’t talk to anybody about it, and when people try I’m just like ‘it’s cool, I met Gary Lineker out of it’, but it’s not cool or worth it, it actually murdered me mentally. I also realised who were my friends and who weren’t, and who cared about me most. And realised how much my family actually do love me. And lastly, just want to say thank you to my mum and the rest of my family for being there throughout. Anyway, that’s all. #Life is hard.